Johnny Red and His Team of Scientists VS The Zombie Apocalypse!!
Time: The Not-So Distant Future
Place: Johnny Red’s Secret Laboratory
Scientist #3! I’ve been waiting hours for the test results on the neo-genetic recombinator and–what the hell? Scientist #3 the samples in your beaker are boiling over! Your bunsen burners are burning on high! I told you we need to be more cost efficient around here. Are you even listening to me?
And why is this place such a mess? Did the Yeti get out of it’s cage again? I’m telling you it feels like I’m babysitting around here. And why is Scientist #5 lying face down on the floor……..in a pool of his own blood………with a gaping hole in the back of his head where clearly his brain has been scooped out?
Scientist #3 will you please look at me when I’m talking to you!!!
ALRIGHT EVERYBODY OUT!! QUICKLY NOW! SCIENTIST #2 SHUT THAT DOOR!!
Ok, Scientists team huddle right now! We knew this day would eventually come. Now we have to deal with it. We have to remain calm and analyze the situation at hand. Was Scientist #3 currently working on anything that could have caused this? No, the neo-genetic recombinator wouldn’t have done this to her. Umm…was she showing any symptoms before she changed? No, well then our next step is–Scientist #1 why are you holding your hand behind your back? No reason? Were you bit?! So help you God if you were bit! I’m keeping my eye on you!
Alright we have to find out if this is an isolated case, or if this is happening in other places. Turn on the television.
Change channel again.
Clearly Scientist #3 was not an isolated incident. Politicians will wait it out safely in their underground bunkers. The Military will do more damage, than good. And with no protection, the general public will be devoured and turned within days. We’re gonna have to put a stop to this Zombie menace ourselves before it’s too late. Bring me the “Solutions to Unbelievably Horrific Things” chart!
Scientist #2 don’t give me that look. I know you had your heart set on an Evil Robot Uprising, but if we don’t use your robotic creations to defeat the Zombie horde then there won’t be a future for an Evil Robot Uprising. Consider this a test run, ok?
Now comes the truly dangerous part. We have to venture outside and make our way to……..THE HANGAR! Grab whatever you can to use as a weapon. Remember the quickest way to take down a Zombie is to remove it’s head, or destroy the brain. Blunt or sharp instruments are your best bet. Ah, ah, ah…not so fast Scientist #4. That weapon is mine!
We’re out in the open so keep your wits about you. The Hangar is only about a mile down the road, but who knows how many zombies are lurking. Follow me, I know a short cut that should get us there in no time.
Ok stick close to me. We all know what happens when someone wanders off during a zombie menace. If we stick together we should be able to make it to the hangar. Wait! Did you hear something? It sort of sounded like…wheels?
That was close! Let’s keep moving.
Oh my God!
What could possibly be next?! Look out behind you!!
When will this madness end?! Oh no!!!
“Wait! I’m not a Zombie! I’m just looking for help! My Neverland Ranch has been taken over! Will you help me? Ah hee hee!”
I see the Hangar!! It’s just through this parking lot. Scientist #2 go on ahead and get those beautiful robotic killing machines up and running! Scientist #4 quickly gather a few samples of zombie flesh so we can study it to find out exactly what caused this outbreak! Scientist #1 let’s take out a few more of these zombies to buy the others some time! Scientist #1?
Ok, everyone is here. I can hear the zombie horde approaching! Scientist #2…are they ready? Yes, then let’s show these undead brain eating bastards how we play ball! Oh, and Scientist #2, how about some music to set the mood?
(Instructions: play youtube vid, it’s actually just audio, and if you continue reading the music makes a kick ass action soundtrack! Or if you’re at work and can’t play the music, well then quit your job.)
They’re very close now.
Scientist #2 open the Hangar on the count of three.
Open the Hangar!
Hahahaha! We got your cure right here!
Zombie children are no exception!!!
Finish them off!!!!
My that was exciting! Take that Michael “Giant Fucking Robots are Coming” Bay! Now to take a look outside and see if we’re safe.
Well Team of Scientists, it looks like we’ve saved humanity yet again. Scientist #2 I’m especially proud of you and your giant robot creations. It also appears that your future Evil Robot Uprising seems very plausible. Kudos to you!
What’s that? We should go celebrate? Well…I suppose it couldn’t hurt. In fact why not? I’m giving you guys the rest of the day off. Where should we celebrate? Hooters? I don’t know…seems a little…beneath us doesn’t it? What the hell! First round is on me!
John Michael Gagnon…braaains!…Johnny Red
*I do not apply ownership, or creation rights to pics featured on this blog