Tom Waits Would Fuck You Up!: Bono from U2

Some call him a legend. Some call him a great humanitarian. Some call him the second coming of Jesus. Me? I call him an inside agent, working for the political and capitalist elite to continue their path of destruction across this planet while he cashes in on people’s ignorance. Also, I call him a dirty old man. Bono you have this coming.

 

msg-119030813014

 

This blog is going to attack Bono’s humanitarian work. I feel the need to tell you, because I know people will jump down my throat for this.  Now I want to make it clear that humanitarian work is definitely a good thing. I support it 100%. BUT what I don’t support is an ego-manaical hypocrite running around the world trying to solve problems that HE HIMSELF is taking part in creating.

 

About 90% of the photo research I've done, he was making this same face. It's like he suffers from Perma-Smug. Oh, he also wants you to buy more gizmos and shit.

About 90% of the photo research I've done, he was making this same face. It's like he suffers from Perma-Smug. Oh, he also wants you to buy more gizmos and shit.

 

You see Bono has been able to walk a very fine line between being a corporate capitalist pig, and lovable rock star with a heart of gold. Bono is not a stupid guy. He’s no Chad Kroeger, which makes it more fun for me to try and expose his two faced agenda. No, Bono is very smart, almost too smart. He’s found a way to line his pockets and help giant corporations continue to drag the population into debt, not to mention pollute and harm many people, all the while coming out looking like a beacon of light.

 

Yes, this is an actual cover of TIME magazine. Jesus Christ! No, I'm not talking to you Bono.

Yes, this is an actual cover of TIME magazine. Jesus Christ! No, I'm not talking to you Bono.

 

Anyone capable of the lowest levels of critical thought has long since come to the conclusion that the political and corporate elite have caused the majority of the problems the world faces today, if not ever. Bono prides himself on trying to save the world by helping the less fortunate and as a result has been honored with many awards, and was even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

But there is something completely nonsensical about how he goes about this. He actually partners with those that are clearly responsible for these problems. Here’s an example. Bono founded an organization called Product RED, which is supposed to help the people of Africa in combating HIV and AIDS. If you followed the link to the website, then you have seen that basically Bono wants you to buy stuff. Starbucks coffee, computers, ipods, apply for credit cards, etc.

 

So let me get this straight. We are going to stop the spread of HIV in Africa by lining the, already billionairs, Bill Gates and Michael Dell's pockets?

So let me get this straight. We are going to stop the spread of HIV in Africa by lining the, already billionairs, Bill Gates and Michael Dell's pockets?

 

Yes, I know how this works. A “portion” of the money from sales of these products go to fighting HIV and AIDS in Africa. Fine, I guess that’s ok. But what about the GAP clothing line that was featured on Product RED that were using child slave labor to manufacture the clothing?

The reporter, Dan McDougall, said the children were working without pay as virtual slaves in filthy conditions, with a single, backed-up latrine and bowls of rice covered with flies. They slept on the roof, he said.

 

Well you know what they say. Can't make an HIV free Africa, without breaking the spirits of a few child slaves.

Well you know what they say. Can't make an HIV free Africa, without breaking the spirits of a few child slaves.

 

It gets worse. You see I completely believe that you can judge the character of someone based on who they associate with. If Bono was serious about wanting to help the world’s less fortunate then why would he allow himself to be seen with the following people?

 

Tony Blair: One half of the tag team known as "Pre-emptive War"

Tony Blair: One half of the tag team known as "Pre-emptive War"

 

And Blair's partner in crime George W. Bush. Notice how Bush seems confused by the Peace sign Bono is throwing up.

And Blair's partner in crime George W. Bush. Notice how Bush seems confused by the Peace sign Bono is throwing up.

 

Yes, Jon Paul II helped relieve massive debts to third world countries with Bono, BUT if you add up the atrocities the Church has caused throughout history, then helping erase debt is the least they could do.

Yes, Jon Paul II helped relieve massive debts to third world countries with Bono, BUT if you add up the atrocities the Church has caused throughout history, then helping erase debt is the least they could do.

 

Here he is accepting the medal of Liberty from George Bush Sr., which to me is the equivalent of the KKK's Grand Wizard hosting the BET awards.

Here he is accepting the medal of Liberty from George Bush Sr., which to me is the equivalent of the KKK's Grand Wizard hosting the BET awards.

 

And finally, here he is shaking hands with Satan.

And finally, here he is shaking hands with Satan.

 

Maybe I’m being too hard on Bono? Perhaps I should give him the benefit of the doubt? I mean it is possible he’s just using his fame and connections the best way he can to make positive changes in the world. Well let’s take a look at his private life then. Here’s a picture of Bono and his beautiful wife Ali Hewson.

 

Wow! Married for over 26 years and they still seem happy.  I wonder what the secret is?

Wow! Married for over 26 years and they still seem happy. I wonder what the secret is?

 

Oh! Apparently the secret is to have a private rendezvous with two barely legal bikini wearing 19 year olds!

 

Pictured: 19 year olds Andrea Feick and Hannah Emerson, creepy old rich fuck Simon Carmody, and what I believe to be a just jizzed in his pants Bono.

Pictured: 19 year olds Andrea Feick and Hannah Emerson, creepy old rich fuck Simon Carmody, and what I believe to be a just jizzed in his pants Bono.

 

You know what I love? Poetic justice! Bono has been saying for years that he isn’t against the paparazzi and loves to have his photo taken. Well, ironically these pictures were not suppose to see the light of day, that is until those two girls posted them on their facebook accounts.

So the story goes that Bono and his friend Simon met up with the two girls in St. Tropez where they partied, and later in the evening took a private yacht out to sea. Once the pictures surfaced Bono and “friend” Andrea Feick went into damage control. Bono claims she’s just a friend he met a few years ago. Hmm? Let’s do the math. She was maybe 16 years old when they met. How humanitarian. Andrea also said that they are only friends and that he is too old for her. Typical and scripted response I would say.

 

Bono: Saving the world, two 19 year old bikini clad girls at a time.

Bono: Saving the world, two 19 year old bikini clad girls at a time.

 

So what does partying with two 19 year old girls on a private yacht say about his so-called goodwill? Actually doesn’t seem to be something somebody who truly cares about the less fortunate would do. In fact it’s hard to come up with anything that would be more of a slap in the face to the world’s poor. I mean it’s not like Mother Teresa partied it up in her downtime.

 

Well it looks like they got a hold of one of Bono's signature hats. I wonder how long it took before he through the rest of his clothes at them?

Well it looks like they got a hold of one of Bono's signature hats. I wonder how long it took before he threw the rest of his clothes at them?

 

 

Bono you’re transparent. I see through you and hopefully the rest of the world eventually does before you’re giving sainthood, run for office, or made leader of the United Nations. I can’t logically explain how someone so commited to so many causes can justify a lifestyle such as yours. Associating with known corrupt politicians, encouraging rampant consumerism in a world bogged down in unpayable debt, and partying like the aging rock star you are, have proven to me you are without a doubt the worst kind of hypocrite.

Oh! I almost forgot to add some lyrical fun!

 

"And I still haven't found...what I'm looking for."

"And I still haven't found...what I'm looking for."

 

Speaking of music. Bono recently tried to play the tough guy by insulting fellow Rock Star Chris Martin of Coldplay. In a recent interview Bono was quoted as saying, “I think that he’s a good melodist, but he’s a wanker.”  Bono went on to say, “Martin’s obviously a dysfunctional character and a cretin.”

Wow, Bono! I wonder what caused Bono to say such harsh things about Chris Martin?

Charities and Causes Chris Martin has Supported:

AIDS, Disaster Relief, Fair Trade, Weapons Reduction,

Poverty, Human Rights, Amnesty International, Hoping Foundation,

OxFarm, Mercy Corps, Keep a Child Alive, the list goes on and on

 

Well I was leaning toward jealousy. I think Bono may be a bit pissed off that Chris Martin is catching up in Humanatarian causes. But I dug a little deeper and think I may have found the truth!

 

I think Chris Martin had his own meeting with that 19 year old who was wearing Bono's hat!

I think Chris Martin had his own meeting with that 19 year old who was wearing Bono's hat!

 

Tom Waits I think it’s time play Bono out. Bono wants to save the world and solve everyone’s problems. Well here’s Tom Waits with some advice on what to do with your bad days.

 

 

John Michael Gagnon   AKA   Johnny(RED)
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Posted on June 10, 2009, in Tom Waits Would Fuck You Up! and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Maarten Goedseels

    Well it’s been a while since you wrote this blog.
    As I know many people hate Bono, and there are a lot of critical opinions circling. Some relevant, others not so much.

    You really got me at the beginning of your blog. But once you started comparing the Pope to all the bad the Church has done, you lost me. Especially when you drew a line between the girls and a happy marriage.

    You also forget he’s a rockstar. He’s NOT a politician. He really uses his influence to make a better world. He’s done more than any of you wankers wille ever do in a 100 life times.

    It’s very easy to be critical. I get that. He’s a very popular guy and he’s trying to make a difference.

    What really bothers me in your thinking, is the supposed incompatibility between doing something for the poor, but living a rich life yourself.

    There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about sailing a private yacht and flying on private planes, but at the same time donating to charity. Even if it’s only 1% of his wealth.
    Why do people think you can’t enjoy your money (in a lavish way) when you try to help the poor at the same time?

    Now, if you answer this comment at all, I would very much appreciate a reply without ‘Bono’s just a wanker’ or something like that. Give me some real reasons why he’s such a bad person. Thank you.

  2. Im not saying i like bono. but in all honesty your arguments weren’t very well thought out and the pictures were very relevant to the real reason he’s a cunt.. oh and fuck both those girls too and i want aids to go away. am i a hypocrite too?? haha burn

  3. Fuck you…….asshole.

  4. It’s always a great thing when someone has not so sweet things to say about Bono 🙂

  5. You don’t know how reading this made me happy. Your tearing him a new one made me want to kick my heals together. Now a question for you: Does my happiness mean there is something seriously wrong with me?

  6. About damn time someone shits on that little prick… Also, I’d be down for taking a look at that source about the slave labor… I feel like that would be an interesting read.

    • There were several articles on the internet about the slave labor. I loved Gap’s official statement on it though. Something to the effect of, “We had no idea our contractors were using child labor in India.” Yeah right.

  7. Outstanding johnnyredd. Sometimes I think the corporate media makes someone who is really only average into some kind of star so that they can sell more product (magazines, airtime, whatever). Here’s the equation: heart-in-right-place + natural tendencies of the rockandroller x media amplification cubed over time = unrealistic expectations with occasional head-up-ass moments. Bono is an average musician who had good intentions at first but bought his own marketing crap and faded to fail after that. Too bad – lots of potential but alas feet of clay.

  8. Great post. I’d been waiting for this since you dropped the tidbits, but I must ask, how did you miss South Park and the World Largest Turd for this blog?!

    • Thanks Steve. Nope I didn’t miss the South Park episode, in fact I downloaded it on Xbox live just to see the Bono part. But I couldn’t find any good clips from the show on youtube to use.

  1. Pingback: “Make Bono history” : Infowars Ireland

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